(Really Sour Lemons)

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Kicked in the Head

That's how I feel today. Like I got kicked on the back of the head. I took a nap sitting up on the couch because it hurts too much to lay down. I don't know if my neck muscles are just screwed up from sleeping funny, due to the pain of the port incisions. So far the Neulesta shot hasn't settled in any major bones. But then again... my neck and head kind of feels like all my glands are swollen like when you get the flu. Hmm. 

I had a hard time eating again too. I'm hungry in the morning but I have to make myself eat lunch, and by dinnertime I'm just feeling icky. And this hiccuping is making me crazy! Every time I drink something I end up hiccuping for a few minutes. Or when I eat, my stomach does this weird one big hiccup/heave. It feels like everything just wants to come back up. But I'm not nauseous. Definitely something to talk to the nurse about next week. 

I had grand plans for exercising lightly during my ordeal. I walk the kiddo to the bus stop with the dog and go a bit further and home again. That's about all I can handle. We had our first snow fall today and it's usually my job to shovel the driveway. There's no way. I am extremely grateful that my neighbors stopped by (without my asking or prior knowledge) and shoveled the driveway. 

I also had an appointment at the American Cancer Society's wig boutique. How depressing to look in the mirror and not see yourself staring back. They also have a program called "Look Good, Feel Better" about how to take care of your appearance when going through treatments and feeling like crap. They teach you how to take care of your skin and put on makeup - when you know you look good, you feel better about yourself. I missed the January class which was this past Monday. Next class is the first week of February. I'm trying to take care of myself. I washed my hair this morning (first shower since surgery Monday!) and put on a bit of makeup, real jeans and shoes, etc. It really does make you lift your chin a bit higher and feel like hiding a bit less. I'm trying...

I wanted to share an article written by David Haas, Family Hospitality Coordinator at Mesothelioma Cancer Alliance. It applies to any kind of cancer. It's about "the benefits of fitness and eating healthy during and after a diagnosis of any kind of cancer. Each cancer has it's limitations, but if one can keep a healthy body, they can have a better chance to overcome this awful disease." Hmm. It sounds like he's been rooting around in my brain the past few days... 

Stay In Control of Your Body

Surviving cancer is an exhausting process, and though there is a great deal of
emphasis placed on recovery, you should also be thinking about control. After
going through mesothelioma or any other kind of cancer, you may feel as though
everything is out of your control. Reasserting a feeling of control in your life allows
you to stay positive and motivated during your treatment and your recovery, and it
can also drastically improve your outlook on the way that your life is going.
According to Dr. Matthew Hoffman at WebMD

Studies show that not only can exercise prevent cancer, but that it can also prevent
it from recurring. Exercise gives you an opportunity to use your body and to make
it do work. In the process, you will be releasing endorphins that give you a natural
high, and you will also be helping your body recondition after what might have been
a long rest period. Choose a form of exercise that you enjoyed before your diagnosis,
or learn a new activity that you have always wanted to try. Always consult with a
doctor before starting any new exercise regimen.

Another way to take control of your body is to focus on your grooming. Cancer
treatment is a highly stressful time, and you may have been doing the bare
minimum for a while. Go to a spa and try a full body treatment or simply take a few
small minutes out of every day to pamper yourself. Even painting your nails can
have a positive effect. Baby your skin, paint your nails, or accessorize your favorite
outfit in a new way.

Spend intimate time with your significant other. Sensuality is another thing that
might have been pushed aside during the stress of cancer treatment, and it may be
a thing that is hard to reclaim. Speak frankly with your partner about your needs
and how they might have changed or been altered. While speaking about intimate
matters may be awkward or uncomfortable at first, it can also be liberating to talk
about your body in a way that is unrelated to cancer. It establishes you as a sensual,
sexual person.

If you are recovering from cancer, it is time to make your body your own once again.
Take control of your body and remember that it is a part of you and that despite
your illness, it is still a beautiful and important thing.

Thanks David. 
Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day. I did find my Norco prescription so tonight should be a better night. A good night's sleep can make a big difference too :-)


  1. I know that I cannot imagine what you are going thru. I am so very thankful that you are willing to take us all along with you, to see it thru your eyes. You are one truly BRAVE woman.

  2. Just want you to know my prayers are with you Lisa and you have so many people who care about you praying for you. With Love and Hugs, Malinda

  3. I can imagine what you are going through, all too well. It gets better. Much better. Love.

  4. it must be so hard to exercise when it is cold and wintery and you feel wretched. Hugs

  5. Lisa-I hope you were able to sleep last night. And just walking Celia to the bus stop and a little farther are good for now. You will find your own pace.

  6. Lisa, we all think of you every day. I am so proud of you for facing this head on with a plan. You might not feel like it every day, taking control of yourself will help you make it through. Big hugs and i'll send over the goats to kiss you :-)