(Really Sour Lemons)

Monday, January 30, 2012

Becoming Brave.

The time was right. On Sunday I finally got brave enough to cut my  hair off. Actually, my husband used his clippers and cut it for me. He knows how to use those things better than I do! First he did his best to give me a mohawk. This is my "I'm in pain, take the picture quick while I'm giving you a horse smile" picture:
And a side view. I think you can see the shape of the Mohawk better here. The long part was set for one inch and the short part is shaved to 1/8" I think.
We laughed about it. We decided Michael will never be a barber for other people. Just himself. (As a matter of fact, after it was all done, we had the exact same haircut! Hmm.) 

Afterward he cut it all off at the shortest length. I couldn't believe the pile of hair on the floor! And all over me. What really surprised me was how dark my hair looked in that pile. I've always been a natural blond. When I lived in Arizona it was a nice golden blond. But lately it's turned really dark. With a beautiful streak of grey in the front. On the floor it almost looked black! I wonder what color will grow back in... ?

This morning I took some pictures of my buzz cut in the mirror. Some of them looked really painful. It's hard to have a natural look on your face when you're taking your own picture. The jokes you tell yourself to make you smile or laugh naturally just aren't all that funny, ya know?
Bah. It's not so bad. It's just really COLD! I can see where the short hairs are already falling out so I won't keep this style for long! I had to run a lot of errands today and was a bit nervous to go out in public for the first time like this. But you know what? I felt great today. Physically and mentally great. I think that helped. I started the day out with a headscarf with my new grey fleece hat over it (it was cold this morning!) and a down coat. As the day wore on, it got warmer (upper 40's!) and the sun was shining and I soon ditched the fleece hat. I walked around IKEA and JCPenny with my headscarf and no coat and I lived to tell about it! I just held my head up and strutted around and smiled if someone looked at me. It was all good. I don't know why I was so nervous about it. Silly me. 

Oh, I did get one comment from someone. At Barnes and Noble, when I was still wearing the fleece hat over the scarf. I was at the cafe getting some coffee and when I was walking away, this little boy, maybe about 3, saw me and tells him mom "she's wearing a hat. And she has a cookie." Observant little bugger! (note: I had a cookie. I am calorie storing. The next few weeks I will feel like puking around food and will probably lose another 5 lbs. That's my story and I'm sticking to it!) 

Here's an awesome positive thing. It took me exactly 15 minutes this morning to get a quick shower, put on makeup and dry my hair (hehe)! That means I can get 15 minutes more sleep in the morning, woohoo! 

Tomorrow I will be in chemo all day again. The make-me-feel-crappy stuff. But I know what to expect this time around so I will be more prepared to kick some ass and feel better doing it. Maybe I'll have my sister take some pictures. She can make me laugh.


  1. You look great Lisa and hang in there, it is just hair and it will grow back, you look beautiful and brave to me, prayers, love and hugs, Marilou from Roses.

  2. Lisa, you look great.... especially the smile! I love my short hair! Nothing better than being able to roll out of bed and walk straight out the door! You might decide to keep it!

  3. you do look great and it is only hair, it will grow back.

  4. Oh Lisa--I'm so proud of you! I think you look great and like everyone else says--it's only hair and it will grow back--maybe it will be curly? Who knows. You're the best!!

  5. Awww, Lisa - you are beautiful from the inside out, and with your new do, your smile shines even brighter! I will be thinking about you today, wishing you an easier time with chemo, and lots of healing.
    Love - xxoo

  6. Beautiful cheekbones you have there m'dear. Keep that chin up - I will be thinking of you all day. Love Lori

  7. Lisa,
    You look cute! You are also the bravest women I know!
    Glad you and your girl liked the goodies!

  8. Lisa, you ROCK! Love your new do and that kick-ass attitude! Celia has the bestest role model in the world!

  9. Love your new look and the attitude. Great kid. He knows his priorities. Love it.

  10. You look fabulous and with your attitude about all of this (well maybe except for today's nightmare) you are MY role model. C is very lucky to have you for a mommy!
    Next chemo day I am bringing my camera! But NO pictures of anything that could incriminate me in any kind of damage I might cause...hahahahaha
    Love you sis!