(Really Sour Lemons)

Saturday, December 22, 2012

Health, Hair, Huh? (WTF did I do?)

Well, it's been long enough, hasn't it? No, not my hair, just the time since my last update :-D (trying to keep a sense of humor here, bear with me...)  

On the health front, things are going well when you think about what this time last year looked like. Exactly one year ago, I had two surgeries done with and had an egg beater inserted into my breast so I could start radiation two days before Christmas. I had cut my hair short already, in anticipation of what chemo would do to me. I was scared but I knew I wasn't alone and I was ready to fight like a girl.

Over the course of the year I've had three more surgeries - two failed attempts at placing a port and one that finally got it right. I've had six rounds of poisonous cell killing chemotherapy, with 20 rounds of Herceptin weekly during that time. And 12 rounds of Herceptin by itself since. On January 9th I go for my very last infusion of Herceptin. Then I'm done. 

But it's never really over is it? It will never be over. I will live the rest of my life "on call", being extra vigilant about every ache, pain, bump and lump. Waiting. 

It seems pretty stupid to be worrying about hair, doesn't it? 

Today I wanted to get my hair around my ears trimmed. I went to a cheap walk in place. The stylist asked if I wanted the rest of my hair evened out. I said sure. It was starting to look a little out of control. When she was done, my first reaction (in my head) was "What the &*$% did I just do???" She took about 4 months of growth off my head. Now I have short hair. REALLY short hair. Sure, it's styled and layered nicely. But my gosh, did I mention it's short? On purpose? I'm so sad for all the hair that got chopped off, it took me such a long time to get to the point I was at. Then I think... I'm such an idiot to worry about it. Look at everything I've been through. It's only hair. It'll keep growing. 

But I never wanted a boy cut... 

Here are some pictures, for entertainment only :-D 

Here is a "before" picture of my bad-ass mohawk look. It was actually taken about three weeks ago: 
 And my Happy Mohawk look. I actually had several inches there on top of my head.
The back was getting really thick and wavy. I had already gotten it trimmed around the neckline and around the ears already.
Okay, I'm well aware that I look like a huge dork with a mohawk. It just wasn't a good look for me. I was just kidding around with the camera. I usually blow dried it so I had more of a flat look. Too bad I don't have a picture of my normal style. I had a very deep side part and swept it toward the front. The top was thick and I had a fringy bang. 

This is what my hair looks like today. It's a smidge over an inch long... all over, including the back.

  Fine. It's short. I can't get it back. I can't do anything about it now. Regret will get me nowhere. I will learn to accept it and love it. It'll grow again. And it'll fit better under that blue wig I wanted for Christmas... 

It's only hair... 
It's only hair... 
It's only hair...  


  1. It *is* only hair, but I know that doesn't make it any easier, Lis. On the bright side, no amount of hair loss (purposeful or otherwise) can hide the kind of beauty that comes from within. You've been a warrior goddess this past year, and that shines through no matter what. You look gorgeous!

  2. I love your hair stories!! I look like I have a Mohawk and MANGE!! I swear, we might as well laugh. . .

  3. Oh! xoxox Hair is such an emotional thing. I am sorry that happened.

    It is an honor to get to know such an amazing girl fighter who is working her way through all of this. You are gorgeous!!! xoxoxox

  4. Oh lisa--I'm so sorry about your hair-I know how long it took you to grow it out--

  5. Lisa - I'm thinking it looks really cute! I know it's short, but now it can grow back in more evenly. And, yes, your beauty DOES come from within. Definitely. You are my hero.

    Many hugs

  6. Actually, I love your shorter cut...just saying...

  7. Keep your sense of humor Lisa and know that you are loved. It will grow, keep away from scissors wielding hair dressers and you will be all grown out in no time, now go find that blue wig, me I would have gotten pink or purple, lol
    Hugs sweet friend and Merry Christmas, you are still here and that is what is important.
    Marilou from Roses

  8. We are always our worst critics when it comes to our hair. But here is my 2cents worth...I love your hair cut! It looks all styled and adorable!
    You are one tough girl fighter and you have walked on fire this year. Your journey has inspired us all because you were honest and told the truth of what it is like to go through breast cancer. Your humor, and faith gave you the grace to see this through and now you are like a veteran to help the next sister who has no idea how she will get through it.
    Have the Merriest of Christmas and a bright and exciting New Year.

  9. Well I did a similar haircut about 6 weeks ago on purpose. Not even taking health into account, there is just too much to do and too many fun places to go to spend any time fussing with hair! I like the way it looks and I'm growing mine a little longer (I'm back to ground 0 now) for the insulation...Love your strength and humor. Lori W at Art Camp for Women

    PS Thank you for still being here - Happy Holidays.

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  11. I love the new short cut. Seriously, I really, really like it and think you look beautiful with that style.

  12. Those walk-in places are enough to drive anybody to total insanity. But, it is just hair well, it does look nice and will be easy to take care of. You have had a tough year but you've done so amazingly well. An inspiration to all.

  13. you look beautiful. not kidding.